Am I Co-Dependent?

Co-dependency guiding questions 12
  • UPD: 03-17-14
  • MH2
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These patterns and characteristics are offered from CODA (Co-Dependents Anonymous) as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. They may be particularly helpful to people who are new to learning about co-dependency.

It's up to you to investigate this avenue further should you feel the need. As previously stated - abusive relationships and co-dependency often walk hand-in-hand.

If you've reached this page through an outside link, you may want to read up on co-dependency before taking the quiz.

Check each box if you feel your reply is 'yes.' Even though some of the questions may be difficult, answer as honestly as you can. It's all to your benefit to do so.

  •   I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
  •   I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger.
  •   I avoid emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy as a means of maintaining distance.
  •   I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others.
  •   I lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others.
  •   I label others with my negative traits.
  •   I have difficulty admitting that I made a mistake.
  •   I make decisions without regard to the consequences.
  •   I use charm and charisma to convince others of my capacity to be caring and compassionate.
  •   I need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and will even lie to look good.
  •   I am unable to ask others to meet my needs or desires.
  •   I demand that my needs be met by others.
  •   I have difficulty making decisions.
  •   I judge what I think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough.
  •   I allow my addictions to people, places, and things to distract me from achieving intimacy in relationships.
  •   I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings, and behavior over my own.
  •   I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
  •   I constantly seek recognition that I think I deserve.
  •   I perceive myself as superior to others.
  •   I look to others to provide my sense of safety.
  •   I have difficulty getting started, meeting deadlines, and completing projects.
  •   I lavish gifts and favors on those I want to influence.
  •   I can take care of myself without any help from others.
  •   I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel.
  •   I pull people toward me, but when they get close, I push them away.
  •   I judge harshly what others think, say, or do.
  •   I express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways.
  •   I do not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom I am attracted.
  •   I give up my truth to gain the approval of others or to avoid change.
  •   I believe most people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
  •   I attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel.
  •   I freely offer advice and direction to others without being asked.
  •   I use sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance.
  •   I have to be needed in order to have a relationship with others.
  •   I use blame and shame to emotionally exploit others.
  •   I refuse to cooperate, compromise, or negotiate.
  •   I adopt an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage to manipulate outcomes.
  •   I use terms of recovery in an attempt to control the behavior of others.
  •   I pretend to agree with others to get what I want.
  •   I act in ways that invite others to reject, shame, or express anger toward me.
  •   I use indirect and evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation.
  •   I diminish my capacity to have healthy relationships by declining to use all the tools of recovery.
  •   I am hypervigilant regarding the feelings of others and take on those feelings.
  •   I am afraid to express my beliefs, opinions, and feelings when they differ from those of others.
  •   I accept sexual attention when I want love.
  •   I put aside my own interests in order to do what others want.
  •   I suppress my feelings or needs to avoid feeling vulnerable.
  •   I become resentful when others decline my help or reject my advice.
  •   I refuse to give up my self-will to avoid surrendering to a power that is greater than myself.
  •   I believe displays of emotion are a sign of weakness.
  •   I withhold expressions of appreciation.
  •   I am embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts.
  •   I have trouble setting healthy priorities.
  •   I mask my pain in various ways such as anger, humor, or isolation.
  •   I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.

The quiz results will provide you with definitive answers concerning you, your relationship and co-dependency. The results also include more information about co-dependency and further links to follow-up on.

[ Am I Co-dependent? quiz © 2013 by Heart 2 Heart - Men Hurt Too. All Rights Reserved. Am I Co-dependent? questions © 2010 Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. and its licensors. All Rights Reserved. ]


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