Abusive relationships and Co-dependency
Co-dependency and abuse often go hand in hand...
Some types of people are attracted to people who are emotionally abusive. They complain, blame and try to control, yet they continue to allow others to hurt them. Why do they do this?
It is because, that in reality, they are more comfortable complaining and feeling resentful than acknowledging how very hurt and angry they are. They push their thoughts and feelings out of awareness by focusing all their energy on other people.
They stay busy so they won't have to think about things and face reality. They ignore problems and pretend they aren't happening. They pretend that things aren't as bad as they really are.
Are You Co-dependent? - M. Beattie, "Codependent No More", developed this list
- Do you feel responsible for other people - their feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being and destiny?
- Do you feel compelled to help people by solving their problems or by trying to take care of their feelings?
- Do you find it easier to feel and express your anger about injustices done to others than about injustices done to you?
- Do you feel safest and most comfortable when you are giving to others?
- Do you feel insecure and guilty when someone gives to you?
- Do you feel empty, bored and worthless if you don't have someone else to take care of, a problem to solve, or a crisis to deal with?
- Are you often unable to stop talking, thinking and worrying about other people and their problems?
- Do you lose interest in your own life when you are in love?
- Do you stay in relationships that don't work and tolerate abuse in order to keep people loving you?
- Do you leave bad relationships only to form new ones that don't work either?
If you have answered "yes" to more than half of these questions, you may be codependent. This is a major issue you must deal with in order to help yourself.
